The Art of Negotiation

One of the more difficult things for Sugar Babies is deciding on how much money
their time is worth. Let’s be clear – everyone’s time is worth something, whether you are working an hourly job or being given an allowance so that you can take care of yourself while being there for your Sugar Daddy. Don’t forget that many things in life are a transaction, whether explicitly stated or not.  In many relationships, there are monetary transactions, whether it is someone paying for the mortgage on a house or sharing a vacation with their partner.

Typically, Sugar Daddies will start by offering up an amount for a weekly or monthly
allowance. Remember, just like anything else in this world, you have a worth and don’t undervalue yourself. You don’t have to agree on an amount that is too low for you or if you aren’t sure this arrangement is working for you. If you are unsure at all, remember you can take your time getting to know your potential Sugar Daddy. As with any other romantic relationship, sometimes you know right away that the person is a good fit for you and other times it takes several dates to know if you’re a good match. Why would this relationship be any different?

An Allowance vs a Charge

Often when we are talking to people about money in relationships, we hear Sugar Babies say that they aren’t escorts and that is very true. We aren’t saying that Sugar Babies are better than
escorts at all – they are simply different. There is nothing wrong with Sugar Babies or escorts. Typically, escorts are the one to quote a price or set the price while Sugar Babies tend to allow the Sugar Daddy to set the price. Allow your Sugar Daddy to be the one to set the groundwork for price and negotiation.  Be sure to let him start that conversation – think of it like dancing and let the man take the lead. Now, if you are dealing with a guy who is newer to being a Sugar Daddy (or is just a bit awkward at starting these conversations), you may have to help him along without being too obvious.

Now, what do you do if he is the type of man to start a conversation asking you how much you charge? There are a few ways to handle this; for starters, you could just pretend that you didn’t hear him. We prefer to change the subject entirely and give him a wink – that lets him know that you heard him, but you won’t go there on your own. If he doesn’t get the hint, and asks again you can tell him that you don’t want to quote a price. You can also encourage him by reminding him that he is the man in the relationship, and can make the choice with regard to money.

It’s Not about Paying for Sex

Remember that being a Sugar Baby isn’t about sex – it’s a whole relationship. It is way too often that we hear of Sugar Daddies who ask potential Sugar Babies to “audition” sexually before an allowance is agreed upon. That’s not what this relationship is about, and you may end up undervaluing yourself if you fall for this. He may not end up having a relationship with you, or he may also not pay you what you are worth. If he is interested in just sex, there are plenty of women out there that can handle that, but you are more than just sex to any man.

Know Your Worth

Don’t worry about if you are “charging” too much (plus, remember, you aren’t charging him – he is paying you an allowance). Only he knows his finances, and how much he can afford.  Similarly, only you know how much you are worth. Never let someone undervalue you, especially since you are worth quite a lot.

Now, what if he doesn’t offer what you think you are worth? There is always the possibility of compromise. Think of any two relationships that you have had in your life – in what ways were they the same and in what ways were they  different? They probably weren’t exactly the same, and keep in mind that each  situation is going to be unique. When you are deciding how much you are worth, consider how much time and commitment your Sugar Daddy is going to require of you. Will you need to be exclusive, or can you see other people? Will you hold another job, or need to be available at his beck and call?

While we can’t tell you how much you are worth, if you are nonexclusive you will be able to have more time to yourself and your life but may have a lower allowance.  Also, keep in mind that depending on where you live and the average cost of living, the amount of money that is reasonable for a Sugar Baby allowance may vary. It’s common that Sugar Daddies who take out their Sugar Baby twice a month usually offer an allowance that is on the lower end of the spectrum. Now, if he is the type of gentleman who will want you to spend more than an evening out with him (think full nights, a weekend or two, or travel), the gift you receive from him should be larger. If you plan on spending a date a week with him, you can expect him to treat you to a considerably larger monthly allowance. Always keep in mind that the more time and emotional commitment that you are giving to him, the more your SD needs to compensate you. If you travel with your Sugar Daddy, he should not only be covering your travel expenses but gift you with a larger allowance to compensate you for the involvement you are giving him.


Now, if you are exclusive with your wealthy older man, you can expect to have more of an emotional commitment to him, but, you can, also, expect a higher compensation for the privilege.. No one can decide if you are ready for an exclusive commitment other than you. If you do not feel ready to be exclusive, don’t let anyone talk you into something you are not ready for or do not want. Many Sugar Babies start by being non-exclusive and some move toward being exclusive with their gentleman while others do not. There is no right or wrong way to do it, as long as you are true to yourself. If you are comfortable spending time with your Sugar Daddy, an exclusive relationship may be worth considering.


When a mutually beneficial relationship progresses, it’s perfectly fine to renegotiate your allowance, especially if things move from non-exclusive to exclusive or if you two decide you are going to spend more time together. Most Sugar Daddies double the allowance (at the very least) if things progress from a non-exclusive relationship to exclusive. Typically, if you are spending more time with your Sugar Daddy, you can expect to receive a considerably higher allowance.

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