One of the most frequently asked Sugar Baby questions is: How do you know what to ask for? While most Sugar Babies receive an allowance, one of the more common questions I hear from new and prospective Sugar Babies has to do with how to decide on how much to ask for. First and foremost, you should not be leading that conversation. Let the gentleman take the lead. However, before the conversation ever occurs, it’s important to consider your own needs and wants. Plus, your needs and wants are more than just financial – as with any relationship out there, you have emotional needs and wants as well. You wouldn’t be expected to read anyone’s mind, so why should they read yours?
There is a difference between being upfront and honest, and being demanding. No one wants a demanding Sugar Baby. I remember my mom used to always tell me that I would get more bees with honey than with vinegar. While that phrase didn’t mean much to me as a kid, I find it has helped me out significantly as an adult (now, just don’t go telling my mom that I said she right!). Your Sugar Daddy is more likely to hear what you are trying to communicate as long as you are polite and honest with him.
If you have already agreed on an allowance with your Sugar Daddy, remember that you can always re-negotiate, especially if you find that you are spending more time with him or you become exclusive with him. While you should have put what you wanted part or all of your allowance to go towards on your profile, you can let your Sugar Daddy know what needs you have or if they change. For example, while I was in college, I was upfront with any prospective Sugar Daddies about the fact that at least part of my allowance would be going toward my tuition. I found that many prospective Sugar Daddies were very understanding, and some even totally got how stressful it can be to try to make ends meet when you are in college (honestly – sometimes it was just nice to respond to emails from people who got where I was coming from, even if we never met!). While some Sugar Daddies may never know what it is like to stress about money, you never know what type of discussion may end up happening. Remember that this isn’t just about money, but forming an honest relationship with someone else – and sharing your concerns and feelings about things going on in your life.
Now, what do you do if you clearly state that you prefer a cash allowance and a prospective Sugar Daddy approaches you and offers vacations, shopping sprees, etc? You need to decide what is important to you. If someone had suggested a shopping spree while I was in college, part of me may have been carefully chewing over those words, while the logical part of me may have been tempted to point out that unless that spree was to the bookstore, I wasn’t interested. You can politely let your potential Sugar Daddy know why you prefer cash, if you haven’t already, of course, and let him know that it’s not that you don’t appreciate gifts or his taste in jewelry, just that those things don’t pay the bills or take care of your other needs.
On the other hand, if you’re more interested in trips and shopping sprees because you want to feel taken care of and pampered directly, you should share that, too. Many wealthy older men are secretly hoping to play the white knight and are more than willing to play the role of indulgent Sugar Daddy to a pretty young woman. For some, an attractive travel companion is exactly what they are looking to find in a Sugar Baby.
If he still doesn’t seem to want to compromise, there is no reason to completely shut him out. You can kindly let him know that you are intrigued by him and let him know that if your situation changes, you would love to contact him. One never knows what the future may hold. Plus, as long as you end a message on a good note, it’s entirely possible for something to change and who can say what sort of compromise he may be willing to agree upon.
Now, we all have difficult things about life. Perhaps you’ve fallen on hard times for any number of different reasons, and no one likes a whiner. This is not to say that you should hide that side of you After all: no Sugar Daddy out there wants someone who is perfect in every way – that would be a robot – they want a human being, someone they can take care of and feel needed. However, try to avoid being the tearjerker. While it’s true that sob stories will sometimes get the wallets to open, a sugar relationship is about way more than money. Further, while a sob story may work for some people, and there are those who are suckers for it, remember it won’t work for all, and what works for some people, may end up pushing another wealthy older man away. You can explain your situation with honesty and grace, but, also, be sure to play up your strengths. You are a gorgeous, strong woman that any man out there would be lucky to call his Sugar Baby.
With that said, your strengths are vital as a young Sugar Baby. If you are explaining a difficult life experience (whether current or in the past), it often helps to let some of your strengths shine. Your strengths are what make you unique. The unique aspects of your personality are memorable to a Sugar Daddy and help form your relationship together. Your resilience will help you look more like a safe investment, too, instead of just a mess or damaged goods.